from Vanity Fair

Exclusive: Tiger Speaks

by Tiger
December 9, 2009,  3:00 pm

Hi, everybody. I am a border terrier. I am two years old, by the human calendar.I live with four human beings in a set of rooms on W. 108th St. The rooms are inside a building near those garbage cans with the smell.

I like to eat bread and chewing gum off the sidewalk. If I find a stray snot-rag, I will eat that, too. And if I come across any other dog’s pee, I will cover it with my own, thus ensuring my dominance in the neighborhood.

I never thought I would be writing for a major Web site. But then again, until recently, I didn’t have much to write about, since things were going pretty normal.

I usually wake up around 7. Then I stretch. I like to hit the outdoors before I have my breakfast.

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