America Afraid Of Penises
French Director Gaspar Noé on America’s Fear of the Penis
“The fear of the penis in the United States still shocks me,” he said. “In many ways, the Western world is turning Victorian.”
By Noel Ransome
Near the end of my chat with Gaspar Noé, I ask him why he’s so comfortable with pushing narrative boundaries in film. He replied he doesn’t believe he’s pushing anything compared to what came before. So I remind him of cinema’s growing sensitivity to controversial representations of sexuality in 2019. The French director—whose latest film Climax (which is co-produced by VICE Studios), is a journey with a dance troupe lured into hallucinogenic states to the point of injury and death—decides to answer in the most Noé way possible.
“The fear of the penis in the United States still shocks me,” he lets out during a phone exchange. “In many ways, the Western world is turning Victorian.”
If you’ve ever seen a film by Gaspar Noé, it would be downright disappointing not to hear the word “penis” leave his mouth. The director is famed with his ability to unsettle viewers with equal parts beauty, sexuality and terror. You’ll see it in works such as Irreversible , Love, Enter the Void, and now in Climax set for a March 1 limited release—zero penises guaranteed.
It takes a special kind of mind to come up with films that explore the dark depths of the human psyche. And thankfully, I got a chance to listen to the ideas that a mind like that will throw at you when questioned. Whether it was drugs, directing or “the penis,” Noé was a man comfortable speaking about it all.
Withnail & I
The Cult of Richard E. Grant’s Withnail and I Is Finally Having Its Moment
After decades of obsessively quoting Bruce Robinson’s 1987 comedy, Gen Xers are using Grant’s Oscar nomination as an excuse to teach a new generation to demand the finest wines available to humanity.
Bruce Robinson’s script for his 1987 cult classic, Withnail and I,wanders effortlessly between the high (a Hamlet soliloquy) and the low (“You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you’re doing it!”). But it’s the incandescent performance of Richard E. Grantthat sends the dark British comedy—about a couple of out-of-work actors—into the stratosphere of greatness.
So it’s less weird than it might at first seem that the movie which screened at New York’s Film Forum on Thursday night wasn’t the one that has earned Grant a best-supporting-actor Oscar nomination—Marielle Heller’s Can You Ever Forgive Me?, starring Melissa McCarthy—but the one that forged his legend more than three decades ago.
Over coffee in Brooklyn, I asked Grant if he could tell when he read the script for Withnail and I that it was a role for the ages? “I knew it bone-deep,” he said. “It made me laugh out loud, it was so brilliantly written. Even the stage directions were hilarious. I had also been unemployed for nine months, too, so it was the best preparation I could have had for playing an embittered unemployed actor.”
Don’t Mess With The Breasts
from The San Francisco Chronicle
There’s a new texting scam going around, and it starts with a picture of breasts
Within a few weeks of each other, two friends of mine in the Bay Area independently received a text with the same unsolicited photo of a woman’s bra-clad, but otherwise exposed, cleavage sent from an area code in central Pennsylvania last month.
Both of them, curious as to the provenance of the boobs, replied and asked who was texting them. It was clear some scam was afoot. But what was it? They wanted to know the endgame.
Local Redditors, too, have reported similar missives.
“Anyone else in SF getting texts from a random number who sends you a nude and then tries to flirt with you over text?” wrote Redditor NaturalPerspective earlier this month. “I have had three people tell me it has also happened to them in the past 3 weeks. Wondering what is going on.”
If you yourself have gotten a similar text out of nowhere and wondered where the trail of breadcrumbs lead — Phishing? Blackmail? Viral marketing? — we followed them, so you don’t have to.
Egg Beats Kylie
An Egg Has Beaten Kylie Jenner’s Record for the Most-Liked Photo on Instagram
An egg won the internet Sunday.
In the latest example that internet dominance is as fragile as an eggshell, an egg Instagram overtook Kylie Jenner by posting the most liked Instagram photo ever.
The egg racked up more than 18.2 million likes as of Sunday evening — a big win for a little egg.
The Instagram account set out on its journey Sunday morning with its first post declaring its ambitions.
“Let’s set a world record together and get the most liked post on Instagram. Beating the current world record held by Kylie Jenner (18 million)! We got this,” the bio read.
The Undersea World of Damien Hirst
Damien Hirst Created a Fake Documentary About His Fake Venice Show—and Now You Can See It on Netflix
The film, financed by the artist himself, seeks to re-enact the fictional backstory behind the divisive show.
One of Damien Hirst’s “found treasures.” Screenshot via Netflix & Science Ltd. “Treasures From the Wreck of the Unbelievable” (2017).
The exhibition that launched a thousand angry tweets lives on—on Netflix.
Earlier this week, the streaming service released a mockumentary, “Treasures from the Wreck of the Unbelievable,” that chronicles the fictional story behind Damien Hirst’s two-venue exhibition in Venice last year.
The slickly produced film—full of sweeping underwater shots and a swelling soundtrack—was financed by the artist himself, a spokesperson from Hirst’s company, Science Ltd, tells artnet News. “The film is something Damien wanted people to be able to come across in years to come, which explores the backstory of the project,” she says.
According to the 90-minute mockumentary, the vast Venice spectacle was not the 52-year-old artist’s highly anticipated comeback exhibition, which took 10 years and cost a reported $65 million to produce.
Instead, the film suggests the show was the debut presentation of long-lost treasure discovered by a team of archaeologists and divers off the coast of east Africa. The trove—so the story goes—had been assembled during the 1st or 2nd centuries by a former slave turned voracious collector, Cif Amotan II (an anagram, it turns out, for “I am fiction”).
The film follows a team of researchers as they identify Amotan’s shipwreck beneath the surface of the Indian Ocean. But in order to retrieve the sunken booty, they need a benefactor. Enter: Damien Hirst.
Dog’s Man Bites Man
from The South Florida Sun Sentinel
Bay Area jogger is attacked by a dog, then bitten by the dog’s owner
by Alejandra Reyes-Velarde
A woman jogging in a Bay Area park was bitten by the owner of a dog who also attacked the jogger, police said.
The jogger was in Anthony Chabot Regional Park in Castro Valley when a dog attacked her about 10:30 a.m. Thursday, and she had to defend herself with pepper spray, the East Bay Regional Park District Police Department said.
The woman later came across the dog’s owner — another woman — who tackled and punched her multiple times, authorities said.
“As the victim attempted to push her assailant off of her,” police said, “she was bitten on her forearm by the female, causing significant wounds.”
Christmas Creature Caught On Cam In Kentucky
from The Lexington Herald Leader
Monstrous creature ‘turned its head and looked straight at our car,’ Kentucky woman says
A woman is reported to have seen a frightening “creature” on a road outside the eastern Kentucky town of Sandy Hook, prompting an investigation by the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization.
The group released a “follow-up report” this month that concludes the woman saw something that wasn’t human. Sandy Hook is about 100 miles east of Lexington, Kentucky.
“She described it as a walking tree,“ investigator Jack Smarr said after interviewing the woman.
His report stops short of declaring it was Bigfoot, a legendary “ape-like creature” that remains more a popular myth than a scientific fact, according to Live Science.com.
Space Sex Hard
Forget colonising Mars – From shrivelled willies to sex dolls and radioactive babies, expert reveals why sex will make living in space a nightmare
There are a number of issues surrounding sexual intercourse in micro-gravity – including lack of arousal and floating fluids
By Mark Hodge
SEX in space is a logistical nightmare with problems ranging from floating fluids to shrinking manhoods, a NASA-funded scientist says.
Dr John Millis, a US physicist and astronomer, spoke to The Sun Online about the issues faced by consenting astronauts who wish to engage in rumpy-pumpy in micro-gravity.
Dr Millis, of Anderson University in Indiana, compared sex in space to having intercourse while “skydiving” but added that it was “not impossible.”
He told The Sun Online: “The issues surrounding the act all revolve around the free-fall, micro-gravity, environment experienced by astronauts.
“Even the lightest touch can make it difficult to stay in contact if both persons are not properly anchored.
“The astronauts would need to brace themselves against the space station, and even each other.
“A shared sleeping bag, or similar, would perhaps be the most useful.”
But more problems would arise if the romantic astronauts were able to lock together in a coital tryst.
Dr Millis, whose work has been funded by NASA, explains that in micro-gravity blood rises to your head, instead of your wedding tackle – making it harder for both men and women to get aroused.
[ click to continue reading at The Sun ]
“Imagine engaging in sexual activity while skydiving – every push or thrust will propel you in opposite directions.
Fascistic Mahler Fans
A concert-goer rustled a bag of gum during a Mahler symphony. A “violent attack” ensued.
By Isaac Stanley-Becker
It is said to represent the composer’s love letter to his new bride. And, like love, the Adagietto transports those who receive it – its atmospheric notes offering release from the grim foreboding and frenetic outbursts of the earlier movements of Gustav Mahler’s 5th Symphony.
But worldly concerns have a way of intruding: an iPhone light, a candy wrapper, one too many trips to the restroom.
The rustling of a gum wrapper at a performance of the symphony last week in the Swedish city of Malmo brought a section of the audience back down to earth, and brought several concertgoers to blows. Mahler’s late Romantic epic became the occasion for an epic clash over candy.
As Andris Nelsons, an eminent Latvian conductor, coaxed the quiet notes from the string section of the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra, a woman in the balcony rustled a bag of gum, the Sydsvenskan newspaper reported. A young man sitting next to her glared a few times and then lost his patience. He snatched the bag from her and threw it onto the floor.
Witnesses told the daily newspaper published in southern Sweden that the woman sat stoically through the rest of the Adagietto, which typically lasts about 10 minutes (“very slow,” Mahler instructed in the score), and the vigorous and triumphant finale. The symphony, composed in 1901 and 1902, has been described as a “large-scale journey,” similar to climbing Mount Everest. Leonard Bernstein conducted the Adagietto at the funeral services for Robert F. Kennedy in 1968.
But as the concert hall vibrated with the final, resounding notes, and as applause rang out, she exacted her revenge….
Taco Bell Rules
Taco Bell voted best Mexican restaurant in the country
ST. LOUIS (KMOV.com) — The Harris Poll, a nationwide customer survey of their favorite brands, has released its 2018 results.
The poll surveyed more than 77,000 customers in the U.S. on more than 3,000 brands to find which companies are the favorites among consumers.
Respondents weighed in on everything from printers to pizza, and the results are surprising. Here are some of consumers’ top choices.
Best Mexican Restaurant: Taco Bell
The after-hours crowd is still probably Taco Bell’s biggest customer base, but the company has grown its popularity through creative ads like the Nacho Fries conspiracy theory movie trailers starring Josh Duhamel and a strong social media presence.
The company has 7,000 locations and does nearly $2 billion in revenue.
Homer’s Revenge
Woman May Have Lost NASA Internship After Insulting Famed Engineer Homer Hickam
Hickam told the young girl to watch her language on Twitter.
A woman may have lost her NASA internship following a profanity-laced back-and-forth with a user on Twitter, who is none other than the famed former NASA engineer and current space council adviser Homer Hickam.
A user identified as Naomi H. (@NaomiH_official) announced her internship with a tweet that said, “”Everyone shut the f— up. I got accepted for a NASA internship.”
Another user, who ended up being Hickam — the former NASA engineer and inspiration of the 1999 film October Sky, based on his memoir — responded, “Language.” Naomi H. tweeted back with a sexually vulgar tweet, concluding it with “I’m working at NASA.” Hickam responded, “And I am on the National Space Council that oversees NASA.”
Cetacean Frustration
Sexually frustrated dolphin named Zafar terrorises tourists on French beach
by Rory Mulholland, Paris
The dolphin rubs himself up against kayaks and canoes
A seaside village in Brittany has banned swimming on its beach because a dolphin in heat has been scaring tourists and locals by approaching them and trying to rub up against them.The dolphin has even tried to prevent several swimmers from getting back to the beach at Landévennec, using its nose to push one woman out of the water and up into the air.
The beast, often clearly in a state of sexual arousal, also often tries to rub up against kayaks and other small boats.
The three-metre long dolphin, which locals have nicknamed Zafar, has been hanging around the Bay of Brest for months, amusing tourists with its antics as it visited the beaches and shorelines of Plougastel-Daoulas, Logonna-Daoulas and Landevennec.
Children in sailing schools were delighted when the dolphin would suddenly turn up and frolic around their boats, and Zafar sometimes let swimmers grip onto his dorsal fin and go for a ride with him.
But then a few weeks ago he changed.
Captioning Hirst
Who Won Damien Hirst’s Instagram Caption Contest? The Vulgarian Who Aimed the Crudest, Most Concise Insult at the Artist
The artist went with brevity—and irreverence—in choosing the winner of a “Veil Painting” print.
It’s official: Damien Hirst admits he’s a “twat.” Or, at least, that’s the irreverent caption the artist has selected to win his self-staged Instagram contest giving away a print of one of his “Veil Paintings.”
“I’ve read so many replies to my dumbass competition I’m losing my fucking marbles, what was I thinking having a fucking competition anyway!?” the artist wrote in a comment on the original post, which has some 32,967 likes and over 10,400 comments. The photograph shows the artist in his studio, clad only in a pair of bright pink underwear, matching socks, and black crocks emblazoned “Damien.” The contest was announced on June 26.
The winner, who goes by the username @beigebrick, is identified on their profile picture as a UK-based visual artist. “In the end I had to pick it as the winner because of its simplicity,” Hirst admitted. “And because if you can’t laugh at yourself you’re fucked.”
As of press time, @beigebrick had not commented on the victory, or on whether or not they are a fan of Hirst.
How You Know He Really Loves You
Boyfriend Punches Man After He Was Caught Looking At His Girl’s Butt
by Bill Galluccio
A North Carolina man cold cocked a stranger inside of an SEA Wireless store in Lincolnton after the stranger was busted staring at the man’s girlfriend’s butt. Surveillance footage from the store captured a guy in a red shirt taking a glance at the woman while he was leaning on the counter.
The woman’s boyfriend called him out for his wandering eyes and he admitted to doing it with a laugh.
Billy Corgan Says He’s Not Responsible For Taylor Swift
Billy Corgan Wants You to Know He Is Not Taylor Swift’s Father
CREDIT: John Medina/Getty Images
Does Taylor Swift look like Billy Corgan? I don’t really think so, but a meme that made its way to Corgan suggests their faces are similar.
Corgan has opted to weigh in on the side-by-side image, which originates from TotallyLooksLike.com — presumably a more reliable source than Corgan’s beloved InfoWars, at least. (Hey, people did accuse Swift of pandering to the right-wing extremists in her fan base, which would certainly represent some common ground with Corgan.) What begins with a denial that he’s Swift’s father evolves into a lengthy meditation on identity and personal mythos.
Here’s what the ruling Smashing Pumpkin had to say….
God Love The Mustang
Council Bluffs woman driving over 140 mph arrested moments after receiving ticket for going 92
NORTH PLATTE, Neb. — A driver from Council Bluffs was stopped twice for speeding near North Platte on Saturday — the second time for driving over 140 mph.
The 2018 Ford Mustang first was stopped a mile west of North Platte on Interstate 80. Lincoln County sheriff’s deputies had been alerted about 1 a.m. to watch for the car heading west between Brady and Maxwell, which are east of North Platte.
Deputies stopped the car, which was driving 92 mph in a 75 mph zone. The driver, a 31-year-old Council Bluffs woman, was issued a ticket for speeding and allowed to leave.
But as the car pulled away, the Sheriff’s Office said, it accelerated rapidly. The deputies’ radar eventually clocked the car’s speed at 142 mph.
DvF Disses Viagra
Diane von Furstenberg thinks Viagra is ‘the worst thing’ for women
Diane von Furstenberg takes real issue with Viagra.
The fashion designer said in a new interview with The Times that Viagra, the drug that helps erectile dysfunction, has harmed women.
“The worst thing that has happened to women in the last 15 years is Viagra,” DVF said. “For men, it used to be all about getting it up. ‘Did I?’ ‘Can I?’ There was a certain fairness. A woman couldn’t have a child after 40, right? Though even that doesn’t exist anymore.
“But the man could have a child until 65, but sexually after a while … Now, with Viagra … they just feel … I think Viagra is the worst thing.”
Burning Man Is Shit
from The San Francisco Chronicle
Poop is beginning to be a big problem at Burning Man, authorities say
At Burning Man, an annual celebration of experimental art and counterculture in the dusty Nevada desert, experts are contending with the difficult — but necessary — question of human waste.
In a recent report, the Bureau of Land Management described the proliferation of attendees who have apparently forgotten — or cannot make it to — the festival’s restrooms. This is especially a problem in the deep playa, an area far away from the center of the festival and from portable toilets, the Reno Gazette Journal first reported.
The government’s proposal? Poop bags and pee bottles, either to be brought by participants or for staff members to hand out.
Giant Jeff Goldblum
Finally, the World Has a Giant, Shirtless Jeff Goldblum Statue
Behold, one of the greatest artistic achievements of our time.
Photo via NowTV / Fever PR
Jeff Goldblum is iconic in everything he touches, but there is no role quite so canon as his turn as Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park, and no scene that captures his essence quite as well as that brief, beautiful moment where he’s sweaty as all hell and shirtless for some reason.
It’s been 25 years since that cinematic touchstone graced this world, and to commemorate it, London’s NOW TV has constructed one of the greatest artistic achievements of our time: A 25-foot statue of a half-naked Jeff Goldblum.
It was an audacious move on the artist’s part to even try to recreate such an impeccable expression of the human form, but the risk paid off. No detail was spared: The stubble is perfectly rendered, so subtle you’d miss it if you didn’t take a closer look. His hand hangs loose from the wrist in that quintessentially Goldblum-ian attitude of effortlessness, of ease with the self. And those eyes: They gleam with a confluence of fear and knowledge—a mirror image of the look Goldblum flashed the camera just after Dr. Malcolm nearly lost his life to a T. Rex.
