Bay-Frey Pairing From Hell
Writers Hired For Bay-Frey Pairing From Hell
By Katey Rich: 2009-08-27 09:50:46
When it comes to currently famous douchebags, there aren’t two people much more resented than Michael Bay and James Frey. One of them has come by his millions honestly, by blowing things up for the approval of the public, and one of them got rich by completely fabricating a memoir (A Million Little Pieces, if you’ve managed to forget), but both seem like the kind of guys who started off as high school bullies and never released their power.
And now they’re teaming up, just so you can focus all your resentment in one place. According to Variety, Bay will produce and possibly direct an adaptation ofI Am Number Four, Frey’s new novel about nine aliens who disguise themselves as teenagers on Earth when their home planet is destroyed.
[T]oday’s Variety piece announces that two writers, Smallville vets Al Gough and Miles Millar, will handle the adaptation of the book. Gough and Millar are responsible for writing, however improbably, both Spider-Man 2 and The Mummy 3, so there’s seriously no telling how this will turn out. I just hope they’re prepared to hold on tight when the combined douchebaggery of Bay and Frey threatens to create a black hole from which no innocent screenwriter could possibly escape.
i sold andy warhol (too soon) by RICHARD POLSKY
Book Review: i sold Andy Warhol. (too soon)
i sold Andy Warhol. (too soon) by Richard Polsky (Other Press, $23.95, 9781590513378/1590513371, September 15, 2009)
A wild roller coaster ride is nothing compared to the vertiginous ups and downs of the contemporary art market between 2005 and 2009 described by Richard Polsky (I Bought Andy Warhol). No sooner had he sold his green Andy Warhol Fright Wig painting in 2005 than he had the worst kind of seller’s remorse. Not only had he loved the painting, but he quickly realized he had let it go cheaply–an orange Fright Wig painting sold for much, much more within two years. As he tells us, he had violated the cardinal rule for art dealers–never get emotionally involved in your inventory–and he paid dearly.
In a valiant attempt to downplay the loss he suffered from bad timing, Polsky focuses on the allure that the constantly changing market holds for him. Its shifting seats of power fascinate him in the extreme: gallery owners no longer dominate as auction houses call the shots; people rush from one international art fair to another in search of the next big thing; old-time dealers like Polsky reinvent themselves as “financial art advisors” and connect owners of particularly desirable artworks with auction houses hungry for saleable inventory; advisors recount stories about Wayne Thiebaud’s Bakery Counter to entice collectors to part with collections (bought for $500 in 1962 to hang over a couch, the painting sold for $1.5 million in 1998). The scene is crazy, sexy and never boring for Polsky, even if it is more about doing business than loving a thing of rare beauty.
Comic Books For Tweakers (and Vaginal Cavities, too!)
Meth ring used comic books to launder cash, authorities say
DENVER, Colorado (CNN) — Investigators in Colorado say they have broken up a massive methamphetamine ring in the Denver area that distributed pounds of the dangerous drug every week and laundered the profits using collectible comic books.
“To launder the money you have to use something that is quick and convenient,” Colorado Attorney General John Suthers said at a news conference Monday. “And in this case, they used classic comic books.”
While arresting the alleged ringleaders, brothers Aaron and Alfonzo Castro, law enforcement officers seized about 100 boxes of first-edition collectible comic books. Investigators say one title alone is worth $3,500 and the total collection of comics is worth half a million dollars.
“It appeared they were working on a startup company for high-end comic books,” said Don Quick, the district attorney in Adams County near Denver.
Quick said the seized comic books included some first-edition Superman and Batman titles. They fragile, vintage comics were stored in plastic bags to protect them.
According to a grand jury indictment released Monday, the Castro brothers arranged for weekly, multiple-pound shipments of the meth from Phoenix, Arizona. The brothers then distributed the drugs to a network of runners that made deliveries to dealers around the Denver area.
Suthers says Castro brothers sometimes used females “as drug mules by having them hide methamphetamine inside their vaginal cavities.” These women would then deliver the meth to a series of houses, and then lower-level dealers would distribute the drug.
“It’s a tawdry piece of information, but it’s a big part of what this group was doing,” he said.
Get High Now

This is probably not what you think (there is no website for that, yet). Get High Now is a science site disguised as mind-expansion. There are 40 audio and visual illusions (or, if you must, “hallucinations”) to be experienced and, after reading about the brain science that explains them, understood. Risset rhythms seem to get faster and faster, yet not if you time them by tapping your foot. Shepard tones get higher and higher (or lower and lower) yet never change key. Binaural beats and theta-wave synchronizations make you feel different — and you’re not just imagining things; the changes they induce can be seen with fMRI. And then there’s the highly intoxicating chronosynclastic infundibulum, which remains a mystery to science.
Justice By Tongue
Man with severed tongue to stand trial in 4 rapes
MURRIETA, Calif.—- A Southern California man will stand trial in the rapes of four women, including one alleged victim who authorities say bit off the tongue of her attacker.Prosecutors say one of the victims bit off part of McGowan’s tongue in self-defense during a June 5 rape at her apartment. McGowan, of West Covina, was arrested at an emergency room where he went for treatment.
Prosecutors say investigators subsequently linked McGowan to three other rapes between 2007 and 2009.
His tongue could not be reattached.
Brett Domino Plays Stylophone
It’s All About Enervating The Beneficent Neurons
Can Art Keep You Out of Jail? Rikers Inmates and Alumni Exhibit Paintings
by Glyn Vincent
Few inmates at Rikers Island jail could identify a Picasso or Matisse painting if it was hung in their cell. But the dozen or so young men who are lucky enough to attend Elizabeth Josephson’s art class at the jail can not only identify the masters, many of them do inspired interpretations of their favorite painters’ art, whether it be the work of Marsden Hartley, David Hockney, Jean-Michel Basquiat or Takashi Murakami.
The show is the first of three exhibits, by or about Rikers inmates, to be shown at FiveMyles in the next year to raise awareness and support for an after-prison arts program that Josephson is planning to open in Crown Heights. “These are talented young men who need someplace to go to develop their skills, discipline and self esteem when they get out of jail,” she told me.
Kicking The Ass Of All Other Natural Installations
Shocks & Awe: Mysterious Art in New Mexico
‘Lightning Field’ Jolts Visitors With an Array of Meanings
By Blake Gopnik, Washington Post Staff Writer
QUEMADO, N.M. – Only six people are allowed to see it every day, and only for six months of the year.
It’s thousands of miles from the big art scenes on either coast, and hours from the nearest city.
Photos are not allowed, so it barely even circulates in pictures.
There’s even a tiny chance that, if you don’t follow instructions, it could help you wind up dead.
And yet, for many of the few who’ve made the pilgrimage, it turns out to be “one of the great works of art of the last century.”
That, at least, was the judgment of one art-historian friend, not usually prone to hyperbole, when he returned from a summer visit to “The Lightning Field,” a huge work of “land art” hidden in the middle of New Mexico. His rave got me to go.
A classic patch of sagebrush-covered land, set on an empty plateau 7,200 feet high. A ring of jagged mountains at its edges, out-cliche-ing any Hollywood western. And in the middle, 400 lightning rods, custom-made from stainless steel and laid out in a grid that stretches a mile in one direction and a kilometer in the other. Set 220 feet apart, the rods tower to several times the height of a tall man; whatever kind of mound or furrow they get planted in, their tops all reach to the same table-flat height.
Sphinctertone
Children With Knives
Where Little Chefs Learn the Art of Slicing and Dicing

Ángel Franco/The New York Times
Emily Rios, director of the Creative Cooks Culinary Center in Brooklyn, demonstrating how to make pastelitos. “Being prepared is half the battle in terms of keeping their attention,” she said. More Photos >
By the time lunch was over, flour coated all the workstations at the culinary school in Brooklyn. Shards of dough stuck to the surfaces. And a dozen or more flat yellow blobs festooned the floor — each indicating the spot where a chickpea had rolled off the table and been squished by the foot of a cook in training.
Whether any of the students learning how to debone a chicken or slice cheese for a Spanish pastry will ever oversee the kitchen of one of New York’s culinary temples is impossible to tell.
After all, the students are between 5 and 11 years old.
For the last nine weeks, more than 100 children have been slicing, measuring and baking at Creative Cooks, a children’s cooking school in Boerum Hill that treats the culinary arts as an anthropological adventure.
Sweden’s Got Schlongens
The Hot Tub And The Horny Twin With The Missing Cowboy Tattoo
from Eyewitness News 3 Connecticut
Police: Officer Pretended To Be Twin For Sex
Victim Says She Was Held Down After Realization
MILFORD, Conn. — An Orange police officer is accused of pretending to be his twin brother in order to engage in a sexual encounter with a woman.
Officer Jared Rohrig, of Milford, was arrested Friday in connection with the sexual assault.Police said a woman told police that she went to meet Rohrig’s twin brother, Joe, whom she was in a relationship with. The woman got into a hot tub with Jared Rohrig, thinking it was his brother, police said.
Police said the hot tub activity moved into one of the home’s bedrooms, where the two began having sex.
“During the sexual intercourse, she realized the male she was with did not have a tattoo on his left buttocks. The female victim said she immediately began to cry and asked where his tattoo went,” according to the arrest affidavit.
The woman said Joe, whom she had been having a sexual relationship with since March 2009, has a tattoo of a cowboy, according to the affidavit.
Before INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (and from a time when trailers were trailers)…
Bambi & The Deputy’s AR-15
‘Embarassed’ sheriff reprimands deputies in Midland, Texas for waitress posing on cop car
Friday, August 21st 2009, 1:51 AM
AP
In this photo provided by the Midland County, (Texas) Sheriff, an unidentified waitress at Twin Peaks Restaurant and Bar poses for a photo in Round Rock, Texas.
Midland County deputy and suspended three others without pay after a scantily dressed waitress holding a rifle posed for photographs on the hood of a patrol vehicle.
Round Rock officers were dispatched to the restaurant after someone reported the waitress with the weapon, which had been given to her by one of the deputies who had been attending a training session near Austin.
The incident occurred last week in the parking lot of a Twin Peaks restaurant, which promotes its “fun, friendly and sometimes flirty atmosphere!”
The deputies told Painter that they had about three to five beers each.
“Autopsy results show a 3-inch nail had been driven into his head.”
Phoenix woman says she enjoyed torturing, killing man
Aug. 21, 2009 09:53 AM
Associated Press
A Phoenix woman accused of torturing and killing a man in a wheelchair says she did it because he was a snitch, and she enjoyed it.
In a jailhouse interview with television station KTVK, 33-year-old Angela Simpson said in a calm voice that she lured 46-year-old Terry Neely to her apartment with a promise of sex and drugs.
Once there, Simpson says she beat Neely with a tire iron, pulled out his teeth and strangled him with a television cable during three days of torture.
Simpson says she dismembered Neely’s body and set it on fire.
Neely’s remains were found burning in a trash container [at] Covenant Grace Christian Fellowship Church, near 7th Avenue and Peoria Road, on Aug. 5. Autopsy results show a 3-inch nail had been driven into his head.
The Old Man Stared At Her Naked Jugs, Until He Got The Shakes
STRIPHANGER
HERE’S PROOF NUDE YORK IS THE NAKED CITY
By JUSTIN ROCKET SILVERMAN
A strip club isn’t the only place in town you can see a pole dance — amazed passengers on an L train watched in awe as a naked young woman competed with straphangers for space on a pole.
The performance by actress Jocelyn Saldana, 19, lasted just 30 seconds, and some of the passengers probably thought they were hallucinating or dreaming.
Most were blasé. But one woman started screaming and an elderly man next to her got the shakes.
The Lady Didn’t Want To Look At His Willy, So He Punched Her In The Face
Man Strips Naked On Flight; Assaults Passenger
OAKLAND, Calif. — A 21-year-old man is in custody at a hospital in Oakland after allegedly exposing himself to a female passenger on a Southwest Airlines flight, punching her and then stripping naked, an Alameda County sheriff’s spokesman said.
Darius Chappille, who has residences in both Oakland and Jefferson City, Miss., was arrested after causing a scene on a plane that took off from Oakland International Airport at about 7:15 a.m. Thursday, sheriff’s Sgt. J.D. Nelson said.
During the flight, Chappille exposed himself to a female passenger, according to Nelson. When the female passenger screamed, Chappille punched her, he said.
At that point, flight attendants and other passengers intervened and subdued Chappille, who continued to strip down during the struggle until he was naked, Nelson said.
RAPE STOVE: The Stove That Rapes People
via TC
James Frey on THE LATE LATE SHOW w/Craig Ferguson Tonight (Repeat)
On the late night couch…
- The Late Show with David Letterman: Renee Zellweger, Gary Mule Deer
- The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien: Jonah Hill, Cheryl Hines, Dan Naturman (R 7/21/09)
- The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Lisa Kudrow, James Frey, Chairlift (R 6/26/09)
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Quentin Tarantino, Rachel Nichols, Doug Benson (R 8/7/09)
- Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Cameron Diaz, Universal Records Database, Grizzly Bear (R 6/26/09)
Sun Ra: ‘The embodiment of… the mid-century wave of Afrocentric science fiction spectacles’
Pathways to Unknown Worlds:
The Afrofuturism of Sun Ra
By Rick Sawyer
It was more than just jazz for Sun Ra. The pianist and band leader created a total, collaborative artwork that comprised his music, his album covers and iconography, his band and its costumes, his record label, and even his public and private persona. In many substantial ways, Sun Ra was the embodiment of what came to be known as Afrofuturism, the mid-century wave of Afrocentric science fiction spectacles. For Sun Ra, it wasn’t a show. Doctor Funkenstein might have gone back to being George Clinton when the Mothership was packed up, but Sun Ra never stopped being Sun Ra.

The totality of Sun Ra’s art was recently on view at the Institute of Contemporary Art in Philadelphia. Pathways to Unknown Worlds: Sun Ra, El Saturn & Chicago’s Afro-Futurist Underground, 1954-1968 showed the breadth of Sun Ra’s iconography and even gave visitors a chance to see his storied band in action—offering a live performance of the surviving Arkestra members last May along with vintage video and photographs. The show, which had been curated by John Corbett, Anthony Elms and Terri Kapsalis for the Hyde Park Art Center, Chicago, consisted of album covers, stray instruments, videos, audio recording, and even corporate memos, each evincing Sun Ra’s total commitment to his aesthetic.
Sun Ra was born Sonny Blount in Birmingham, Alabama, but he wouldn’t let you believe that. He claimed that he came from Saturn, and he took his name from the Egyptian god of the sun. His story, a fusion of the ancient and the otherworldly, would take on a changing array of particulars throughout the years, but the core would remain the same. Sun Ra is not like us, he’s not human, but his music can save the world.
Garlicky Grilled Soy Skirt Steak

Enjoy the great outdoors and a fabulous meal with grilled soy skirt steak. (South Florida Sun-Sentinel/Mark Randall)
Garlicky grilled soy skirt steak
Servings: 4
Ingredients:
1 / 4 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce
1 teaspoon minced peeled ginger root
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon Hoisin sauce
1 / 2 to 1 teaspoon sriracha chili sauce or Thai chili garlic sauce, optional
Fresh-ground black pepper, to taste
Juice of 1 / 2 lime
1 (16- to 24-ounce) skirt steak
1. Preheat a gas or charcoal grill to medium-high heat.
The Mother Of All Funk Chords
Paramount Releases New Adaptation of Brothers Karamazov
Film Adaptation Of ‘The Brothers Karamazov’ Ends Where Most People Stop Reading Book

The Brothers Karamazov, a new film adaptation that concludes at the precise moment most readers give up on the classic Russian novel.
The 83-minute film, which is based on the first 142 or so pages of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s acclaimed work, has already garnered attention for its stunning climax, in which the end credits suddenly appear midway through Katerina’s tearful speech about an unpaid debt.
“We are very excited to be able to bring several chapters of this timeless masterpiece to the big screen,” Paramount CEO Brad Grey said of the movie, which was shot, on and off, for two years. “Anyone who’s ever tried to sit down and trudge through this incredible book is going to be absolutely blown away by the faithfulness of our film.”
“It’s all here,” Grey added. “The opening scene, that part a little bit later on where some big commotion is taking place but you’re not quite sure what it is, that monastery thing they all go to—everything, just as you half-remember it.”
Diane Vincent Shoots James Frey In Berlin
“Manny, look at the pelican fly! Come on pelican!”
Traces of cocaine found on up to 90% of dollar bills in American cities
by Ed Pilkington in New York

Photograph: Getty/Piet Mall
It’s an image much beloved of Hollywood directors: the head lowered over a mirror, a crisp greenback tightly rolled and inserted in a nostril, then applied at the other end to a line of white powder.
Researchers from the American Chemical Society in Washington have discovered that the practice of consuming cocaine through rolled up paper money is far more than just a cinematic cliché. They found that in big cities in the US, up to 90% of the notes tested positive for traces of the drug.
In Washington itself, the percentage of notes with cocaine residue reached 93%, a prevalence almost matched by other urban areas such as Boston, Detroit and Baltimore.
Any film directors hoping to be authentic in their portrayal of cocaine snorting should note that the researchers found that in the US the bills of choice of cocaine consumers were $5, $10, $20 and $50. Both the modest dollar note, and the more elusive $100 note appear to be rarely deployed as an aid to nasal intoxication.
Apache Man Gone
Remembering Michael Viner, The Man Who Recorded “Apache”
8/14/09, 1:35 pm EST
Michael Viner, the record producer whose 1973 recording of “Apache” by the Incredible Bongo Band is the cornerstone of hip-hop, died in Los Angeles on Saturday, August 8th, from cancer. He was 65.
Viner held a number of positions in the entertainment world. He was an executive for MGM Records in the 1970s, signing Debby Boone (whose “You Light Up My Life” was Number One for 10 weeks in 1977) and helping produce Sammy Davis Jr.’s “The Candy Man,” which topped the charts in 1972. He also produced the second Nixon inaugural ball in early 1973, a result of his association with Republican MGM head Mike Curb, lieutenant governor of California from 1979 to 1983. (Viner’s politics were more liberal; he’d worked as an aide for Robert Kennedy in the ’60s.) Later, Viner’s Dove imprint pioneered books-on-tape, and he later made a name publishing books based on tabloid scandal. Still, it’s the much-sampled Incredible Bongo Band recordings that stand as Viner’s lasting achievement.
Viner was born in 1944 and grew up in Washington, D.C. In 1970, as a joke, Viner released the infamous Best of Marcel Marceau — a live LP of a mime, consisting of two sides of silence concluded by audience applause.
Suicide Stash
from the San Gabriel Valley Tribune
Suicidal man dumps cash on Glendora freeways
Posted: 08/16/2009 05:10:38 PM PDT
An emotionally disturbed man dumped cash out on two freeways in Glendora Sunday, prompting motorists to pull over and try to pick up the money from the roadway, authorities said.
The 56-year-old man, whose name was not released, then went to the Azusa Police Department where he told officials he wanted to commit suicide, Azusa police Lt. Steve Hunt said in a written statement.
The incident began about 11:50 a.m. when the man started throwing money out of his car on the westbound 210 Freeway between the 57 Freeway and Grand Avenue, California Highway Patrol Sgt. Kurt Stormes said.
Six or seven vehicles pulled over, and about 10 people ran into traffic lanes to grab up the cash, Stormes said.CHP officers recovered about $1,000 from the freeway, in 20-, 50- and 100-dollar bills, he added.
Officials ask that anyone who picked up some of the money to turn it into the Azusa Police Department so it can be returned to the man.
Police also cautioned motorists against trying to pick up money on the freeway.
Please do not stop on the freeway to look for money,” the police statement said. “Stopping on the freeway can be hazardous or even fatal.”
When The Saints Go Cataloguing
courtesy of Hi-Grade Lenny the Puglistic Dopeman
Honey-Soy Beef Dippers
Honey-Soy Beef Dippers
by Meghan Pembleton

1 pound flank steak
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup honey
1 tablespoon soy sauce
2 tablespoons olive oil
Metal or wood grilling skewers
Cut beef crosswise about 1-inch thick and cut each slice into cubes. Place meat in a zip-top plastic bag. Add lemon juice, honey, soy sauce and oil. Seal bag and turn to coat meat. Refrigerate at least 30 minutes, up to overnight. (If using wood skewers, soak them in water while meat is marinating.) Heat grill to high.
Death Cab For Kerouac
Death Cab’s Ben Gibbard, Jay Farrar Team Up For Kerouac Soundtrack
by Michael D. Ayers, N.Y.
In an ode to iconic author Jack Kerouac, alt-country veteran Jay Farrar has teamed up with Death Cab for Cutie‘s Ben Gibbard for a collaborative album entitled “One Fast Move or I’m Gone: Kerouac’s Big Sur,” Billboard.com has learned.
The twelve song set is due October 20 via F-Stop/Atlantic and will serve as the soundtrack to the Kerouac documentary of the same title. Farrar and Gibbard were approached by the filmmakers in 2007 about writing music for the film, which documents the events surrounding the author’s time spent in the Big Sur region of California.
Both musicians are long time Kerouac fans and according to Farrar, about 90% of the album’s lyrics draw directly from the Big Sur text, including the poem “Sea: Sounds of the Pacific Ocean at Big Sur.” The recordings came to fruition over the course of three years, with the initial session taking place in San Francisco during summer 2007.

