{"id":3649,"date":"2012-11-08T17:16:43","date_gmt":"2012-11-09T00:16:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2012\/11\/o-come-the-robot-orgasm\/"},"modified":"2012-11-08T17:21:32","modified_gmt":"2012-11-09T00:21:32","slug":"o-come-the-robot-orgasm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/2012\/11\/08\/o-come-the-robot-orgasm\/","title":{"rendered":"O Come The Robot Orgasm"},"content":{"rendered":"

from BetaBeat<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Regular Orgasms Are for Mortals; All the Cool Kids Are Having \u2018Longevity\u00a0Orgasms\u2019<\/h1>\n

Soon our significant others will cheat on us with robots.<\/em><\/p>\n

By Jessica Roy<\/a><\/strong>
\n<\/a> If you\u2019re already following the advice of your\u00a0longevity coach<\/a>\u00a0and working to live as long as humanly possible (until the\u00a0Singularity<\/a>\u00a0comes and your being is finally merged with that of a robot), then you\u2019re probably ready to take your training to the next level. Self-quantifying via sleep tracking apps and the Nike Fuel Band will only get you so far, and unless you\u2019re Peter Thiel, hyperbaric chambers are rather expensive. Luckily, the next step towards total\u00a0transhumanism<\/a>\u00a0is much more pleasurable: buying a sex robot and having longevity orgasms.<\/p>\n

Only those with an\u00a0average<\/span>\u00a0lifespan would settle for normal orgasms. Instead, sexual satisfaction produced by a\u00a0robot sex doll<\/a>\u00a0is quickly becoming the fantasy of many\u00a0transhumanists<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Sexbots are coming, and we will cum with them. Three times a week or whatever our physician \/ longevity coach recommends. Because orgasms \u2014 especially the hormone-exploding O\u2019s we\u2019ll eventually enjoy with carnal cyborgs \u2014 are excellent for mental and physical health.<\/em><\/p>\n

Remember the most convulsive, brain-ripping climax you ever had? The one that left you with \u201cI could die happy now\u201d satiety? Sexbots will electrocute our flesh with climaxes thrice as gigantic because they\u2019ll be more desirable, patient, eager, and altruistic than their meat-bag competition, plus they\u2019ll be uploaded with supreme sex-skills from millennia of erotic manuals, archives and academic experiments, and their anatomy will feature sexplosive devices. Sexbots will heighten our ecstasy until we have shrieking, frothy, bug-eyed, amnesia-inducing orgasms. They\u2019ll offer us quadruple-tongued cunnilingus, open-throat silky fellatio, deliriously gentle kissing, transcendent nipple tweaking, g-spot massage & prostate milking dexterity, plus 2,000 varieties of coital rhythm with scented lubes \u2014 this will all be ours when the Sexbots arrive.<\/em><\/p>\n

[ click to continue reading at BeatBeat.com<\/a> ]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

from BetaBeat Regular Orgasms Are for Mortals; All the Cool Kids Are Having \u2018Longevity\u00a0Orgasms\u2019 Soon our significant others will cheat on us with robots. By Jessica Roy If you\u2019re already following the advice of your\u00a0longevity coach\u00a0and working to live as long as humanly possible (until the\u00a0Singularity\u00a0comes and your being is finally merged with that of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weirdness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3649","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3649"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3649\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3649"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3649"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bigjimindustries.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3649"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}