Moby Dick Big Read
Crack Pipe
Police Say Erratic Driver Hid Meth, Pipe Inside Herself
CIRCLE PINES, Minn. (WCCO) – A woman who Centennial Lakes Police pulled over for driving erratically has been charged after a drug-sniffing dog found methamphetamine hidden inside the woman’s body.
Police pulled 23-year-old Nicole Lynn Denzer, of Circle Pines, over early the morning of Oct. 2 after officers observed her pulling into the median while traveling northbound on Lexington Avenue.
According to the criminal complaint, Denzer was arrested on the spot for possession of a controlled substance.
However, when she was taken to Anoka County Jail, a drug-sniffing canine performing a search of the jail’s containment units began closely sniffing Denzer’s crotch, the complaint says.
Denzer told police she was hiding drugs in her vagina, the charges state, and pulled out a clear plastic bag containing 17 grams of methamphetamine and a pipe.
Optimus Brown
California Officially Legalizes the Robot Car
by MATT GALLAGHER, Red Herring
California became the third state to legalize self driving cars, thanks to a special visit to Google’s Mountainview headquarters by Governor Jerry Brown, who signed the legislation after taking a “test drive” in a Google driverless vehicle, according to Tecca. Though Google has had robot cars on California roads since 2010, and the practice has always been officially legal as there was no legislation to prevent it, the state passed the law in order to make it official before any anti-self driving legislation reared its ugly head in the state.
Though California was the first place Google tested the cars, Nevada and Florida beat the sunshine state to make the practice officially legal. Its fleet of a dozen robot cars has logged more than 300,000 miles. The only accidents that have ever taken place with the self driving cars were the fault of another driver.
“Today we’re looking at science fiction becoming tomorrow’s reality — the self-driving car,” Brown said. “Anyone who gets inside a car and finds out the car is driving will be a little skittish, but they’ll get over it.”
Reefer Maceness
Disabled Grandma Uses Bear Spray To Fend Off 13 Attackers After Her Marijuana Grow
DIXON (CBS13) – It was one disabled woman versus 13 intruders, and she won.
She went to answer an early morning knock on the door, but not before grabbing a can of bear spray. It was her only defense against 13 intruders.
She was staring down the barrel of a shotgun, facing seemingly impossible odds. Most wouldn’t dare fight back, but this disabled grandmother did.
“I’ve always jokingly said, ‘if someone tries to take my income, I’m going to fight. They’re going to have to fight me,’” said the woman.
She says the intruders were after her medical marijuana grow in her backyard. They were apparently so distracted that even the gunman didn’t notice what she was hiding in her hand.
“I couldn’t get the safety off,” she said.
As they were yelling “where’s the marijuana?”, she flicked off the safety and emptied the can of bear spray on three of the men, including the guy pointing the shotgun at her.
When Bling Doesn’t Adorn One’s Scrotum, But Rather Is A Scrotum
Male model wore lover’s testicles on his wrists, lawyer says
He used his lover’s testicles as a talisman.
Renato Seabra, a Portuguese male model, said he was so tortured by his May-December romance with Carlos Castro that he beat him to death, castrated him with a corkscrew, then wore the dead man’s manhood on his arms to harness what he believed was its healing powers, his defense lawyer said at Friday’s opening of the murder trial.
“He put one on each wrist,” said lawyer Rubin Sinins said. “He did this for his protection. He could also harness the power. He wandered the streets of Manhattan, touching people, because he had the power to cure people from AIDS, because he had the power to cure them.”
Seabra, 21, killed his 65-year-old lover — a noted Portuguese society journalist and gay activist — in a sudden psychotic onset, said the lawyer.
Debate Night
Why Japan Is Just The Best
Japan’s first ‘cuddle cafe’ lets you sleep with a stranger for Y6,000 an hour
By Steven Simonitch
TOKYO — Sometimes, after a long, stressful day, there’s nothing more comforting than crawling into bed with your significant other and falling asleep in their arms.But what if you don’t have anyone to cuddle with in the first place? If you’re in Japan, you might think to go to a soapland or some other kind of brothel, but then you’d have to deal with all that sex when you really just want to close your eyes and rest in the warmth of another’s body.
But wait! Before you resign yourself to another lonely night of shedding tears on your Rei Ayanami dakimakura, why not stop by Soineya, Japan’s first “co-sleeping specialty shop,” where customers can pay to sleep in the arms of a beautiful girl—with no strings attached.Soineya (literally, “sleep together shop”) opened its doors on Sept 25 in none other than Akihabara, Tokyo’s electronics district, hub of otaku culture and birthplace of other eccentric establishments like maid cafés. Soineya defines itself as a “co-sleeping specialty shop,” which we’re going to denominate “cuddle cafe” because it has a better ring to it.
According to the homepage, Soineya hopes to offer patrons “the simple and ultimate comfort of sleeping together with someone.”
hearsay
Oh great – so now where is the semen supposed to dry? Jeez, way to think ahead there, auto industry! (or, We Might Be Going To Hell In A Bucket, Babe…)
Automakers kick bench seats to curb
Current Impala will be last to feature them as more car buyers prefer sportier bucket seats
BY MICHAEL MARTINEZ
The 1976 Chevrolet Impala Custom Coupe with a front bench seat. The 2013 Impala is the last North American passenger car in the industry to offer a front bench seat. (Chevrolet)
For many, car bench seats evoke another era, when you could squeeze friends into the front seat or inch closer to your sweetheart for some one-on-one time at the drive-in movie.
But the front bench seat — long a staple in cars and trucks until bucket seats became the rage — is going the way of the ashtray and cassette player to become relics of the automobile’s past.
The current Chevy Impala will be the last passenger car in production in North America to feature three-across-the-front seating. General Motors Co. has no plans to continue the seating arrangement when the 2014 model begins rolling off the assembly line next year.
Like other carmakers, GM will replace the front bench seat with sportier bucket seats.
I Haz a Catnip in Mah Head
Stop Pussy Riot From Rioting!
Angry Kremlins
Created by: Magnus Vulp / Almondi Esco
Angry Kremlins must stop russian punk-rock band Pussy Riot from rioting. You have to use a slingshot to launch authorities at those rebels. ‘Angry Kremlins’ is a game that in its aesthetics and composition imitates the game ‘Angry Birds’.
Jorge Ben’s Umbabarauma
Herding Marmalade
INTERVIEW: Lee Scratch Perry & Orb LP
by Thomas Hasson
Tom Hasson talks to reggae genius. Complains afterwards that it was like “herding marmalade”…
“I expect from what I give to get. What I give I’m going to get. Compulsory.”
Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry is telling me what he looks for in a collaborator. As one of Jamaica’s most prolific sons, Perry has worked with some of the most well known artists to emerge from the Caribbean island and beyond. As an engineer he teamed up with Clement ‘Sir Coxsone’ Dodd and Joe Gibbs; as a producer he was hired by Bob Marley and The Wailers, Junior Murvin, The Congos and the The Clash (to name a few); and simply as Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry he’s worked with Dub Syndicate, Mad Professor, the Beastie Boys and even starred in a series of Guinness ads.
He sets out his rules for those he’s willing to work with thus: “Those that don’t eat meat. Those that don’t eat chicken. Those that don’t eat anything that is dead. Those who don’t smoke cigarettes. Those that don’t take coke, or make home made joke. Or take coke. Don’t take cocaine.”
As this conversation continues it becomes increasingly difficult to decide which of these rules are made up on the spot and which he genuinely lives by. Though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t mind people making up their own jokes in his presence, he is clear on one thing; if he wants to collaborate with someone, it will happen.
Still someone making house calls to fix an Underwood or Olivetti
A New York Story: Gramercy Typewriter Co.
Eight million people live in New York City. The great metropolis needs no more introduction than that, but Paul Schweitzer does.
Paul, at 72 years old with thinning silver hair, stands like a relic from a bygone era in a three-piece, tailored suit and tells us that he fixes typewriters for a living. On its face, especially in today’s 24-hour tweet-a-thon, who Paul is and what he does might be forgettable. We would click through or change his channel, but Paul’s story needs to be told precisely because he makes up the fabric of this city, this country. He’s a regular guy, the kind we see a million times a day on an Uptown A or the cross town express. We’ve seen him in elevators and in giant lobbies on Park Avenue and once in a awhile we might even ask ‘what’s he up to?’ But the latte is ready and the phone buzzes and when we look again, he’s gone.
The facts of Paul and his ancient yet still surviving business have all been relayed before: the smaller-than-it-once-was office across from the FlatIron building, near Madison Square Park. The “No Credit Cards” sign hanging neatly above that battleship of a desk. The ringing of a telephone and the surprise when Paul or his son Justin picks up the line. But to see Paul in action, working in the back room on an Olivetti or an Underwood is something like confirming Mays actually played center field. We know it happened. We’ve seen the video, the catch, the throw,the smile, but we have nothing to touch or point to.
ZipCarp
New Zipcarp Service Offers Short-Term Carp Rentals
BOSTON—Announcing its plan to offer short-term, affordable carp rentals for urbanites and college students who don’t own a carp of their own, Zipcarp Inc. launched a brand-new fish-sharing service earlier this month.
According to company officials, Zipcarp’s inaugural fleet consists of 8,000 carps in six major American cities and several university towns, providing customers with the option to rent a carp by the hour or day.
“A huge perk of city living is avoiding the costs and hassles of owning your own carp,” Zipcarp chairman and CEO Carl Potter said at the opening of the company’s carp-rental hub in downtown Boston. “But as all urbanites know, there are times when you just really need a carp. That’s why we’re thrilled to launch Zipcarp as a convenient alternative to fish ownership.”
Proof Music Is Inherent Not Acquired
Steve Sabol (NFL Films) Gone
Steve Sabol, Cinematic Force for N.F.L., Dies at 69
By DOUGLAS MARTIN
Steve Sabol, who was the creative force behind NFL Films, his father’s innovative enterprise that melded cinematic ingenuity, martial metaphors and symphonic music to lend professional football the aura of myth and help fuel its rise in popularity, died on Tuesday in Moorestown, N.J. He was 69.
In 1960, pro football was the nation’s fourth most popular spectator sport after baseball, college football and boxing. But over the next decade, it rocketed to first place in polls, television ratings and revenue, and NFL Films, begun in 1962, helped propel it. Sports Illustrated called the enterprise “perhaps the most effective propaganda organ in the history of corporate America.”
Although his father, Ed, founded NFL Films, Steve Sabol — the producer, writer, director and cameraman — created the images and sounds it became famous for: a kicked football floating end-over-end or a pigskin bullet spiraling in slow motion; a row of bruised and dirtied gladiators hunkering on the sideline; the crunch of bodies brawling at the line of scrimmage or colliding in the open field.
And overlaying all of it was stirring orchestral music and, for many years, the ringing narration of John Facenda, a former television news anchor in Philadelphia whose rolling bass was called “the voice of God.”
No more jiggling, bouncing up and down, or pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.
Presidential Campaign Commercials 1952-2008
Paileontology
The History of the Lunch Box
Sadly, the metal lunch box has mostly gone the way of the overhead projector. Today’s kids often tote their lunches in soft insulated polyester versions that fit easily into backpacks, just the latest development in the long and distinguished history of midday-meal transporting devices.
The seemingly inactive Whole Pop Magazine Online has an illustrated history of the lunch box—cutely named Paileontology—that traces the origins to the 19th century. Back then working men protected their lunches from the perils of the job site (just imagine what a coal mine or a quarry could do to a guy’s sandwich) with heavy-duty metal pails.
[ click to view more cool pails at Smithsonian’s Food & Think ]
Shine On You Crazy Moonjam
Flash Waterslide
Ohio Teen Travels Quarter Of A Mile Through Sewer After Falling Into Drain Pipe
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — An overflowing creek in a Cleveland suburb sent a 14-year-old boy on the ride of his life.
Jeffrey LaPorta traveled more than a quarter of a mile Tuesday through multiple storm sewer pipes, at times completely submerged in water, before finding enough breathing room to await rescue. He was eventually pulled out of the sewer in less than an hour, with only scrapes and bruises.
“It was kind of like a waterslide,” Jeffrey said in an interview Friday with The Associated Press. “But like the waterslide was like very, very steep and went about 20 miles an hour.”
[An Official] said the boy traveled about 1,500 feet from where he initially started.
The distance came as a shock to Jeffrey. “I thought I traveled only 20 feet,” he said.
Here is the head of the man who played with my honor.
Turkish woman awaits trial after beheading her alleged rapist
From Talia Kayali, CNN
(CNN) — A woman in Turkey is awaiting trial after beheading a man who she says raped her repeatedly for months and is the father of her unborn child. Her lawyer says the woman killed the man to protect her honor.
Nevin Yildirim, a 26-year-old mother of two, lives in a small village in southwestern Turkey. She said the man, Nurettin Gider, began the attacks a few days after her husband left in January for a seasonal job in another town, according to a source close to the case.
Yildirim said Gider threatened her with a gun and said he would kill her children, ages 2 and 6, if she made any noise, according to the source. That was the first of repeated rapes over the next eight months, the source said.
She said she grabbed her father-in-law’s rifle that was hanging on the wall and she shot him. He tried to draw his gun and she fired again.
“I chased him,” she said. “He fell on the ground. He started cussing. I shot his sexual organ this time. He became quiet. I knew he was dead. I then cut his head off.”
Witnesses described Yildirim walking into the village square, carrying the man’s head by his hair, blood dripping on the ground.
“Don’t talk behind my back, don’t play with my honor,” Yildirim said to the men sitting in the coffee house on the square. “Here is the head of the man who played with my honor.”
Of Course It’s Art
NY COURT WEIGHS IF LAP DANCE IS TAX-EXEMPT ART
BY MICHAEL VIRTANEN / ASSOCIATED PRESS
ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) — No one would confuse the Nite Moves strip club with the Bolshoi Ballet, but what the lap dancers do there is art and entitled to the same tax exemption other performances enjoy, a lawyer argued in what was surely one of the racier tax cases ever to go before New York’s highest court.
W. Andrew McCullough, an attorney for the suburban Albany strip joint, told the Court of Appeals on Wednesday that admission fees and lap dances at the club should be freed of state sales taxes under an exemption that applies to “dramatic or musical arts performances.”
“It’s definitely a form of art,” a dancer said Wednesday afternoon at Nite Moves, where there was only one customer. She declined to give her name, saying she has another, unrelated job. “Some girls are up there practicing for hours when nobody’s in here.”
50 Objects of New York
A History of New York in 50 Objects
By SAM ROBERTS
An artichoke and an elevator. A Checker taxicab and a conductor’s baton. A MetroCard and a mastodon tusk.
Inspired by “A History of the World in 100 Objects,” the British Museum’s BBC radio series and book, we recruited historians and museum curators to identify 50 objects that could embody the narrative of New York.
Boston Cream Thigh
Ben and Jerry’s suing California smut peddler that ripped off its logo for X-rated DVDs
By Robert Gearty / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
The makers of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream preach peace and love — but they draw the line at hardcore porn.
The socially conscious Vermont company is suing a California smut peddler that blatantly ripped off its logo for X-rated DVDs.
The 10 titles in the so-called “Ben & Cherry’s” series — which sold online by Rodax Video — play on the cute names on tubs of ice cream.
Ben & Jerry’s staple Cherry Garcia became “Hairy Garcia,” and Boston Cream Pie became “Boston Cream Thigh.”
A DVD called “Americone Cream” — a takeoff on Americone Dream, which was inspired by Stephen Colbert — promises “a delicious mix of hot American gay men.”
An unprintable title drawn from the flavor Banana Split features two bare-chested women on the cover.
Campbell’s Targets Andy On Tomato
Campbell’s to Pay Homage to Warhol’s Soup Can Art at Target in September
In the early 1960s, Andy Warhol’s Campbell’s soup can paintings were a spectacularly ordinary counterpoint to any number of lush, sophisticated still-lifes of bowls of laboriously arranged fruit. Warhol wasn’t about commentary. He was genuinely enamored of the commonplace and ubiquitous. And he actually did enjoy Campbell’s, having once claimed in an interview to have consumed a can for lunch every day for 20 years.
How fitting then that to commemorate the 50-year-anniversary of Warhol’s soup triumph, Campbell’s is releasing — for the month of September — limited edition soup cans inspired by Warhol’s creations.
NUMBER FOUR Back @ #3 on The NYT
The Orbserver In The Star House
Rabid Beaver
Woman, 83, attacked by rabid beaver at Lake Barcroft in Fairfax County
The creature knocked Lillian Peterson off her feet as she was climbing out of Lake Barcroft after a swim. The 83-year-old woman twisted around to see what attacked her and noticed one thing: large, orange teeth.
A 35-pound, 24-inch rabid beaver had bitten her on the back of the leg and would not let go, sparking an ordeal that lasted more than 20 minutes Tuesday evening. The Falls Church woman and a friend battled the animal with canoe paddles, a stick and bare hands as it came at them again and again. Peterson was seriously injured.