Swiss Cannibal
Police: Would-be cannibal arrested after gunbattle
May. 11, 2011 04:25 PM Associated Press
BRATISLAVA, Slovakia — A would-be cannibal was arrested and in critical condition after being wounded in a gunbattle with officers during an undercover operation, officials said Wednesday. A policeman was also wounded.
The 43-year-old suspect used the Internet to search for a person who wanted to commit suicide and would agree to let him eat the body, police said. A Swiss citizen initially agreed but later changed his mind and informed authorities.
An undercover officer who pretended he was the would-be victim was used during Tuesday’s operation, police said. He arrived at the eastern town of Kysak to meet the suspect, who opened fire seven times, striking one officer who remains hospitalized in serious condition.
Yeah Right. The Cosmonauts might not have boffed, but sex in space was certainly had!
Secret Space Sex Experiment Rumors Denied By Russian Expert
Updated: Friday, 22 Apr 2011, 9:39 AM EDT
Published : Friday, 22 Apr 2011, 8:50 AM EDT
By AFP
MOSCOW - Russian cosmonauts never had sex in space during the 50 years of human exploration of the cosmos, and rumors about secret sexual experiments were myths, the Interfax news agency reported Friday.
“There is no official or unofficial evidence that there were instances of sexual intercourse or the carrying out of sexual experiments in space,” Valery Bogomolov, the deputy director of the Moscow-based Institute of Biomedical Problems, told Interfax. “At least, in the history of Russian or Soviet space exploration, this most certainly was not the case.”
Rumors have persisted for years of secret Russian and American programs to test the effects of weightlessness on sex, but these were always strongly denied by both sides.
True Blasphemy
Good Friday crucifixions in Philippines
DEVOTEES re-enacted Jesus’s crucifixion in gory scenes while millions of other less extreme faithful across the Catholic Philippines prayed with their families on Good Friday.
A handful of people are traditionally nailed to crosses while hundreds more have their backs whipped until they bleed in Asia’s major Catholic outpost, to remember the day when Christians believe Jesus Christ died 2,000 years ago.In the small farming town of Cutud, a couple of hours’ drive north of Manila, thousands of tourists gathered to watch what has over the years become the biggest and bloodiest Good Friday spectacle.
PISS CHRIST Art Piece Attacked, Defiled By Uncultured Catholic Agitators
The endless, idiotic outrage about “Piss Christ”
A French gallery displays the now-vandalized work — and shows what real blasphemy looks like
Credit: Wikipedia
The French really know how to get worked up about art. They’ll riot over a ballet; they’ll get whipped into a frenzy over impressionism. And this past Palm Sunday a group of Catholic protesters stormed a gallery in Avignon and defaced Andres Serrano’s “Piss Christ.”
The notorious photograph of a crucifix immersed in the artist’s urine has been inciting outrage ever since Serrano unveiled it back in 1987. Thanks to Serrano’s modest NEA grant, Jesse Helms was able to use the work as an excuse to froth over public funding for the arts, and it’s reliably been trotted out as a shining example of all that’s sacrilegious and wicked in art ever since.
Government Laboratory Declares Pot Smokers To Be Single Greatest Threat To The Environment And Human Civilization
from The San Francisco Business Times
Marijuana causes global warming, uses 1% of U.S. electricity
San Francisco Business Times - by Steven E.F. Brown
People growing marijuana indoors use 1 percent of the U.S. electricity supply, and they create 17 million metric tons of carbon dioxide every year (not counting the smoke exhaled) according to a report by Evan Mills, an energy analyst at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory.
After medical pot use was made legal in California in 1996, Mills says, per-person residential electricity use in Humboldt County jumped 50 percent compared to other parts of the state.
In order to produce some 17,000 metric tons of marijuana this year, Mills estimates authorized growers will use $5 billion worth of energy. That works out to the output of seven big electric power plants.
“From the perspective of individual consumers, a single Cannabis cigarette represents 2 pounds of (carbon dioxide) emissions,” Mills says.
For this report, which he published independently, Mills says he didn’t count the energy used in producing fertilizer, water, equipment and building materials also used in indoor pot farms.
“I feel that Gauguin is evil. He has nudity and is bad for the children. I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.”
Woman charged in attack on ‘evil’ Gauguin painting
By BEN NUCKOLS
WASHINGTON — A woman accused of pounding on a painting by Paul Gauguin and trying to rip it from a wall at the National Gallery of Art told police the post-Impressionist artist was evil and the painting should be burned, court documents show.
Susan Burns, 53, of Arlington, Va., has been charged with attempted second-degree theft and destruction of property following the attack Friday. She was being held without bail pending a mental health hearing Tuesday.
The Gauguin painting, “Two Tahitian Women,” valued at an estimated $80 million, was not damaged and will go back on view Tuesday, the National Gallery said in a statement. The picture is on loan from the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York for an exhibit titled “Gauguin: Maker of Myth.”
The painting depicts two women standing next to each other, one with both breasts exposed and the other with one breast showing.
According to charging documents, an investigator told Burns her rights and asked why she had tried to remove the painting.
“I feel that Gauguin is evil. He has nudity and is bad for the children. He has two women in the painting and it’s very homosexual. I was trying to remove it. I think it should be burned,” according to the documents.
Burns also said: “I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.”
God loves non-native species, too, you Haters
Mother Nature’s Melting Pot
Souther Salazar
By HUGH RAFFLES
THE anti-immigrant sentiment sweeping the country, from draconian laws in Arizona to armed militias along the Mexican border, has taken many Americans by surprise. It shouldn’t — nativism runs deep in the United States. Just ask our non-native animals and plants: they too are commonly labeled as aliens, even though they also provide significant benefits to their new home.
While the vanguard of the anti-immigrant crusade is found among the likes of the Minutemen and the Tea Party, the native species movement is led by environmentalists, conservationists and gardeners. Despite cultural and political differences, both are motivated — in Margaret Thatcher’s infamous phrase — by the fear of being swamped by aliens.
But just as America is a nation built by waves of immigrants, our natural landscape is a shifting mosaic of plant and animal life. Like humans, plants and animals travel, often in ways beyond our knowledge and control. They arrive unannounced, encounter unfamiliar conditions and proceed to remake each other and their surroundings.
Designating some as native and others as alien denies this ecological and genetic dynamism. It draws an arbitrary historical line based as much on aesthetics, morality and politics as on science, a line that creates a mythic time of purity before places were polluted by interlopers.
The $600,000 Gurgling Toad
Pentagon Art: $600,000 Gurgling Toad Sculpture
By PAUL BEDARD
A $600,000 frog sculpture that lights up, gurgles “sounds of nature” and carries a 10-foot fairy girl on its back could soon be greeting Defense Department employees who plan to start working at the $700 million Mark Center in Alexandria, Va. this fall. That is unless a new controversy over the price tag of the public art doesn’t torpedo the idea.
[See a gallery of monuments and art around Washington, D.C.]
Decried as wasteful spending that will be seen by just a couple thousand of daily workers who arrive on bus shuttles, foes have tried to delay the decision, expected tomorrow, April 1. But in an E-mail, an Army Corps of Engineers official said that the decision can’t be held up because it would impact completion of the huge project.
[David] says he’s not opposed to art, just high-priced works that won’t be seen by many. He estimates that only 2,500 will see the artwork every day as they use the bus transfer station at the Mark Center. “Who the heck is going to see it,” he asked. “To spend six hundred grand to amuse the same people every day is nuts.”
Israeli B-Lister VS. Viperus Siliconus
Serpiente muerde implante de silicona de una modelo Video TerraTV
A busty model and an angry snake together for a photo shoot – what could possibly go wrong?
Orit Fox’s attempt at seductive posing with a massive boa took a bizarre turn when the snake bit one of the Israeli B-Lister’s surgically enhanced breasts in the middle of a shoot for a Tel Aviv radio station, ABC of Spain reported.
All was going well for the silicone-addicted Fox until she tried to ramp up the sex factor by licking the snake. The move proved costly as she loosened her grip on the reptile, which went straight for the model’s left breast implant and latched onto it for several seconds before being pulled off by an assistant.
Zombie Puppy
Euthanized Oklahoma puppy, Wall-E, rises from dead, now looking to be adopted by loving family
A puppy euthanized by veterinarians has risen from the dead.
The black-and-white pooch was one of five young dogs put to sleep Saturday at a shelter in Sulphur, Okla., News 9 in Oklahoma City reported. Each dog was checked and confirmed to be dead, then the 3-month-old and his four siblings were placed in a trash bin.
On Sunday morning, an animal control officer looked into the bin and discovered that the one pup somehow survived.
“He was just as healthy as could be,” Scott Prall told News 9.
The puppies were selected to be euthanized because of illness, as well as overcrowding due to limited shelter space in the state, said Amanda Kloski, a veterinarian in Oklahoma who has been caring for the puppy since his resurrection.
Free Frank Tanori Gonzalez
Ariz. man accused of putting porn in TV broadcast
TUCSON, Ariz. — An Arizona man has been arrested on charges that he used a computer to interrupt a local telecast of the 2009 Super Bowl with a 37-second pornography clip.
The FBI and Marana police took Frank Tanori Gonzalez into custody Friday on suspicion of fraud and computer tampering.
Authorities say someone cut into the Comcast cable broadcast of the game between the Arizona Cardinals and Pittsburgh Steelers that went to viewers in the Tucson area.
Robbins and Barrett Gone
2 Veterans Leave Village Voice
What becomes of New York’s most formidable muckraking paper when two of its greatest muckrakers are gone?
The Village Voice, the granddaddy of alternative weeklies, which enlivened political and investigative journalism in New York through its scrappy, hold-nothing-sacred approach, has lost Wayne Barrett and Tom Robbins, two journalists who helped define the paper’s modern era.
The Voice without either man, some prominent New Yorkers said, is difficult to imagine. And their leaving raises questions about what kind of future the paper has in the city whose politics it fermented and culture it shaped.
“With the loss of Wayne and Tom, they lost Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle,” said Don Forst, who was editor of The Voice from 1996 to 2005 and edited the work of both men
Mr. Forst said their departures left the paper, which had already been downsized considerably in the last decade, greatly diminished. “It was a great institution for what it was,” he said. “It was not The Times. It wasn’t The Post. It was The Village Voice. And I think it was the role model for all folk alternative papers. I don’t know what they have left.”
Re-writing Twain
Publisher Tinkers With Twain
By JULIE BOSMAN
A new edition of “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” is missing something.
Throughout the book — 219 times in all — the word “nigger” is replaced by “slave,” a substitution that was made by NewSouth Books, a publisher based in Alabama, which plans to release the edition in February.Some English teachers were less than thrilled about the idea of cleaning up a classic.
“I’m not offended by anything in ‘Huck Finn,’ ” said Elizabeth Absher, an English teacher at South Mountain High School in Arizona. “I am a big fan of Mark Twain, and I hear a lot worse in the hallway in front of my class.”
Ms. Absher teaches Twain short stories and makes “Huck Finn” available but does not teach it because it is too long — not because of the language.
“I think authors’ language should be left alone,” she said. “If it’s too offensive, it doesn’t belong in school, but if it expresses the way people felt about race or slavery in the context of their time, that’s something I’d talk about in teaching it.”
Statutory Rape In The Eye Of The Beholder
German man castrates teenage daughter’s 57-year-old boyfriend
An enraged father who disapproved of his daughter’s older boyfriend went to his home and castrated him with a bread knife.
Helmut Seifert, 47, an ethnic German originally from Russia, was enraged when he heard his 17-year-old daughter was having a relationship with Phillip Genscher, 57.
He went to police in the town of Bielefeld where he lives but officers said they were powerless to intervene.
“The man then recruited two work colleagues at his factory and then went to the house of the victim,” said police.
“The man was forced to remove his trousers and, fully conscious, he was castrated. The severed testicles were taken away by the perpetrator.”
The man was close to bleeding to death but managed to call police. His life was saved but he remains a eunuch for life.
Interview With God
EW exclusive: God the Almighty dishes on his new memoir, Twitter page, and Justin Bieber
Image Credit: Mehau Kulyk/SPL/Getty Images
Sometimes as an entertainment journalist, you’ll get a great interview assignment, whether it’s Matt Damon or Michael Caine, but rarely are you offered a one-on-one with a figure so prestigious, so well-known, and with such staying power as I was recently. In order to promote His upcoming memoir from Simon & Schuster, as well as His recently launched Twitter page, the big cheese Himself, God, deigned to speak from the heavens directly into the ear of this humble servant of Time, Inc. (All right, he may have had some help from former executive producer of The Daily Show David Javerbaum.) Like many in my field, I’ve interviewed aliens before, but this is a totally different deal. Read our entire sacrilicious exchange below.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Why a memoir, and why now?
GOD:
Lo, I grew weary of being misinterpreted, and blasphemed, and relegated to sneeze detail; and I longed to telleth all; and it was a matter of urgency, for on April 23, 2013, I shall bring about on Earth an event of such cataclysmic… well, ye will have to read the book.
Nice tease. And what other topics will Thee be addressing?
My topics shall include: The secret history of Adam and Steve; what it was like working with Moses, St. Peter, Mohammed, and other legends of the field; which sports teams I truly root for (hint: Go Blue Jackets!); and, because I can see everyone at all times, I will have much to offer by way of celebrity gossip. It will be in a section that I will call “God-sip”! Getteth it?
Yes.
Like “gossip,” but with “God”?
It’s very clever.
I make this covenant with ye, Keith: This will be a juicier book of revelations than any since The Book of Revelation.
Literarily speaking, who are your influences?
Aesop, The Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen, and James Frey.
Homer Was A Terrorist
Why Conspiracy Theorists Think ‘The Simpsons’ May Have Predicted 9/11
By Aaron Gell
Yes, it’s true. (Or might be.) For years, fringe types have pointed to amazingly sketchy but entertaining evidence that the attacks of 9/11 were actually foretold by the beloved Fox cartoon. Nearly four years before 9/11, in an episode of the show entitled “The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson,” there’s a curious little scene that some conspiracy lovers and “Simpsons” aficionados have long thought might be a warning….
Anyway, ever since, a certain subset of true patriots has been parsing “The Simpsons” for hidden messages about the next devastating event. And recently, they found one.
“Hey! Him against me - side by side. Side by side!”
Man Shot Dead After Refusing His Turn in Russian Roulette
By TERESA MASTERSON
A group of men were drinking and playing Russian roulette at a party in Delaware last weekend. As if out of a scene from The Deer Hunter, when one of the men refused his turn, another took the gun, pointed it at the man’s head and pulled the trigger.
A bullet was in the chamber for that round of the “game.” The man was shot dead.
Master Sgt. Steven Barnes says the men had been drinking with others Saturday at a house on the 1100 block of West Third Street.
That Crack In My Crack Is Not Mine, Jack
Man denies cocaine found in buttocks is his
Oct. 4, 2010 04:53 PM / Associated Press 
BRADENTON, Fla. – When sheriff’s deputies allegedly discovered a bags of marijuana and cocaine between a man’s buttocks, they said he gave a quick explanation.
Manatee County deputies said Raymond Stanley Roberts told them “The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is.”
Deputies stopped the 25-year-old Wednesday in Bradenton for speeding. Officers said they smelled marijuana and searched him. That’s when they allegedly found a bag of marijuana between Roberts’ buttocks.
Officers then discovered another bag in there; the report said it contained 27 pieces of rock cocaine.
The Bradenton Herald reported Roberts was arrested for drug possession and has bonded out of jail. The person who answered Friday at a phone number listed for Roberts said it wasn’t his.
Lawyer Burns Koran and Bible, Then Inhales
Australian lawyer smokes pages of Bible and Koran, asking ‘Which is best?’
An Australian lawyer, Alex Stewart, has smoked pages torn from the Koran and the Bible, posting the video on YouTube just days after an American Pastor’s threat to burn the Muslim holy book caused worldwide outrage.
Australian atheist lawyer Alex Stewart smokes rolled cigarette Photo: SPLASH NEWS
In a 12-minute clip entitled “Bible or Koran – which burns best?” Mr Stewart, who works for the Queensland University of Technology, holds up the two religious texts before ripping them apart and lighting the rolled up pages.
At one stage he inhales deeply from one of the roll-ups before blowing out the smoke and commenting: “Holy”.
