Outstanding.
with thanks to T. Oliphant
Rainbowgasm
courtesy of Tucker C
Raymond Scott accused of stealing one of the most important printed works in the English language
Flashy book dealer in limo for Shakespeare trial
(AP)
Raymond Scott was accused of stealing the 1623 folio from England’s Durham University in 1998. The 53-year-old was arrested after a man took the volume to the Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, claiming he found it in Cuba and asking for verification that it was genuine.
Scholars consider the folio one of the most important printed works in the English language.
He arrived Wednesday at northeastern England’s Newcastle Crown Court in a silver Chrysler 300. For an earlier court appearance, he wore a kilt and came in a horse-drawn carriage led by a Scots piper.
I’m not afraid to get sand on my tuxedo if you’re not afraid to let the wind mess your hair up a little bit when I take the top down. (00:50)
**** Disguisable weapons wanted ****
courtesy of E-MAILS FROM AN ASSHOLE
From Me to **********@***********.org:
Hey,
I saw your ad looking for concealable/disguised weapons. I have several fine-crafted items you may be interested in. Respond if you are interested and I will send you pictures and prices.
Thanks,
Mike
From Jeff ****** to Me:
I am. lets see what you got.
From Me to Jeff ******:
Jeff,
Here you go:
Looks like a normal spoon, right?
Wrong. It is actually a deadly 2.5″ half-smooth, half-serrated knife with tactical grip. One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon.
I am asking $50 for the blade. Let me know if you want to stop by and take a look at it.
Mike
From Jeff ****** to Me:
that is stupid as hell and looks like crap. unless you have anything better to offer, dont waste my time.
From Me to Jeff ******:
Jeff,
I am sorry you feel that way about the spoon blade. I do have some other weapons that I think you will feel differently about.
Mike
From Jeff ****** to Me:
fine. but if it is another knife duct taped to a spoon then you can fuck off.
From Me to Jeff ******:
Jeff,
Thank you for re-considering. Here are three quality disguised weapons that I think you will love:
At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.
Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.
This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box.
Let me know if you want any of these items.
Thanks,
Mike
From Jeff ****** to Me:
youre a fucking dumbass, shitbrained, asswipe, retarded dipshit. you prob walk around with that shit too you dumb mother fucker. I hope you get hit by a car. fuck off, eat shit, and die.
Ex-Governor of New Jersey Now Dancing With The Chippendales
Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!
“I hate the book. I don’t hate him. I might go to UFC with him next month!”
Overheard at Sundance: 1/21
Many of the things that Sundance has to offer have been well-detailed: the movies, the swag, and the stars. Less celebrated — yet no less interesting — are the overheard quotes. Each day of the Sundance Film Festival, Movieline will bring you some of the best snippets we couldn’t help but hear. They’re ridiculous, sure — but they’re Sundance. Enjoy the first batch!
8:30 pm, on a bus leaving the Eccles
Girl: “How are you guys still friends? Don’t you hate James Frey?”
Boy: “I hate the book. I don’t hate him. I might go to UFC with him next month!”
Very Short Story
Very Short Story Man driving down road. Woman driving up same road. They pass each other. The woman yells out the window, PIG! Man yells out window, BITCH! Man rounds next curve. Man crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies. Thought For the Day: If men would just listen
The Star Wars Holiday Special: “To this day, parts of George Lucas sizzle and fall off if you mention it near him.”
by seanbaby
The Star Wars Holiday Special was broadcast on TV in 1978 as a fine-print stipulation to the fiddle contest that George Lucas lost to the devil. It was terrible in every possible direction. If Hitler forced aliens to put on a variety show at gunpoint, you’d feel more comfortable watching it. To this day, parts of George Lucas sizzle and fall off if you mention it near him. Famous little person Warwick Davis actually started as a section of George Lucas that screamed and detached itself when the special first aired. And since that day, it has never been shown or legally distributed.
Face Cream v. Beer
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Molson Canadian for $24.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of face cream for $17.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the face
cream..
And that’s when the fight started.
