hey- james- if you ever read this, first I want to say to that lady that posted somewhere about saying "just hold on" was bs, and that everyone MUST go to AA to get sober - you, lady, don't knowhat YOU are talking about. Willpower IS real- I have done it through willpower.
I picked up a million little pieces after I saw your first interview on Oprah. I had been up for a few days, so I went on a mission to find your book. I read it in about two days. Then I had to read it again because I was so jacked up all the time I never could remember any of it. I took a highlighter and went through it and highlighted certain points of the book. I can't remember what they were now, except one where you said, do I want to be an asshole user all of my life - or something like that. It's been a few years.
I would love to tell you I got sober right then and there, I didn't. I had to almost die a couple times, spen almost $10,000 on coke in a few months, take so many pills and drink so much alcohol that when I finally put myself in detox they said I should have been dead from the amount of alcohol in my system. And I hadn't even gotten started yet. I fianlly quit after having seizures from not drinking and not doing drugs, and I had a seizure going down the highway, God was in the backseat because I veered off on the side-without hurting anyone or myself. My husband took my kids and left me while I was in detox, and I didn't blame him. But I digress.
The story about the old man and the little boy hit me so deep, in my core. Onr drunk night I told my husband to tattoo that on my arm, because it meant that much to me. I am in a million little pieces. I still like my tattoo by the way, even sober it makes sense.
I didn't go to AA or NA or bs you have to go through steps- I did do it on willpower. I spent one week in county de-tox, a place where if you sign yourself in they will not let you out for a week NO MATTER WHAT- I tried. You sleep on a foam amttress, with all the other drunks they brought in for the night, burpin and yelling and fartin all night. No cushy room. No four star food. I met alot of homeless guys in there, and they were the coolest people I ever met. It was not a "treatment center" I was there because I had to be locked down to not use. Then on the day I got out, my husband called from Oklahoma and told me my kids missed me, even though I was a terrible mother. As soon as I got there, the alcohol was flowing, I had cash in my pocket the liquor store a block away. The people there started drinking in the morning. You want to know torture? Smell a beer when you haven't had one in a week and you are an alcoholic first thing in the morning. I used to wake up at 6am to drink. I had pills and coke thrown in my face constantly. Oh yea- I did use once a couple months later. Got the cops called on me and went back to same detox. Then I got drunk again a couple months after that. Cops came, asked where my kids were, said I was lucky they were at grandmas they would have called social services. I never used again. Anyway.
My point is, whatever anyone said about things not being true, blah blah blah, you made alot of good points, and you let me know I didn't have to conform to some crazy program some dude made up. I am sorry, but if you must go to AA for the rest of your life to not drink, that is just another addiction right there. And you have to do steps in a certain order otherwise you are a failure? Please. I control me, and with GOD on my side, I got sober. Nothin else BUT WILLPOWER AND GOD.
Someone saw my tattoo in the store a few months back. He read it and said" A million little pieces huh" I said yea- it's a book- ever hear of it? he says-"no" i say "well, in the beginning of the book it has this part when a little boy goes to an old man and says - I broke something. The old man says - how badly is it broken. The little boy says- a million little pieces. The old man says it can't be fixed. It's in a million little pieces." The guy in the store say- "huh- so like synergy" I said "what the heck does that mean" Guy at the store says "you know- synergy. When all the pieces are more important the the whole" YEP.
So, Mr. Frey, your book for me was synergy.
I just read bright shiny morning. I am sorry I never read My friend Leonard. I didn't really care about that guy. I am however looking forward to whatever you write next, because you are different. Your style is different. I went to a book sale today and I swear every book is about the next one. You can read the summary and know basically what is going to happen. Boring. Please write more, and don't ever get boring. Remember synergy. Thank you.
